Sprout Mask Replica by Rankin Robert

Author:Rankin, Robert [Rankin, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction, General, Science Fiction, Family, Conspiracies, Messianism
ISBN: 9780552143561
Publisher: Corgi Books
Published: 1997-12-03T15:00:00+00:00

We walked into Skelington Bay and I must confess I did get some pretty funny looks from the passing menfolk. And some bitter ones too. But I could understand that, I mean there’s nothing more annoying than seeing some jerk who’s got really bad dress sense with a really beautiful woman on his arm, is there?

I didn’t take to the town at all. Something felt wrong to me about the houses. If I’d known anything at all about architecture, I suppose I would have spotted it right away.

Much of the town was Neo-Georgian, but given a vernacular style because the architects had obviously vacillated between the comparatively robust forms of Palladian composition and more attenuated compositions with slightly applied ornament, as popularized by the brothers Adam, who designed in a much more virile manner.

But I knew Jack Shit about architecture, so this didn’t cross my mind.

A fist crossed my mouth again. Which I found mildly annoying.

‘And what did you hit me for this time?’

‘Being pretentious.’

‘Fair enough.’

We found a clothes shop (or boutique), and I let her choose me a shirt and trousers. A friend of mine who’d actually had a girlfriend once, said that it’s a really good idea to let your girlfriend choose your clothes. It shows her that you trust her judgement and she’s also pleased because you look the way she wants you to look.

How vividly I recall him standing there in his pink flares and paisley-patterned shirt waving goodbye to her as she went off laughing with the bloke in the jeans and leather jacket.

Mind you, he also told me that the best present you can buy a woman is a wristwatch, because she’s bound to look at it several times a day and each time she does, she’ll subconsciously think of you.

I came out of the changing-room. ‘Are you sure these pink flares are really me?’ I asked.

Litany smiled. ‘They certainly are.’

‘I’d like to go on to a jeweller’s next.’ I examined my reflection in the wall mirror. ‘I’d like to buy you a wristwatch.’

‘That’s all right, I already have one.’ And she looked down at it and a wistful look came into her eyes.

I settled for a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt and a leather jacket. I said I’d owe her the money.

We went looking for a place to stay and as we walked along I wondered over the events of the night before and tried to draw a few conclusions.

Why was it, I asked myself, that if this Ministry of Serendipity intended using me for its own ends, they had sent storm troopers into Fangio’s, blowing up the place and shooting-people? I wasn’t much use to them dead.

And why, I also asked myself, had Litany risked her life helping me to escape?

Well, the second one was easy. It was clear that the dame was wildly in love with me. Clearly all the hitting was her way of showing affection.

I made a mental note that as soon as I got her clothes off, I’d make a point of tying her down to the bed.

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